“Though we all have different status in life, that does not mean one person is better than the other, it means we all need to respect each other’s dignity”.
Imagine when you cannot defend yourself from the assumptions of a society based on your differences, what would you do? I was taught to use my voice rather that my physical strength. Sometimes it worked while other times my strengthen was needed. Now, my fear has shifted, I am grown enough and can defend myself in this present moment but how about my little seeds. Discrimination and harassment have no limit, no age gap; it happens and it’s a sad situation that as individuals we have no control over.
Sadly, as I revealed the scar of the nail scratch at the back of my child’s neck explaining to the childcare giver about the situation in Finnish and how I would not want my child to learn to defend herself physically but to use her voice. I had always emphasised the use of non-violent method to my kids but using their voice to defend themselves. It popped into my mind; should I train her to defend herself physically as she told me “Mummy, the child who was stronger than me I could not push the child”.
Why do this happen? This keeps coming to my mind. Is it because she is the only brown skin girl in her group? Does that mean she is different and needs to be treated differently? What ideology is behind this treatment. This is the home she knows; she was born here, being raised here, speaks the language and maybe live the rest of her life here. I think she has a right to feel at home but what if the norms don’t accept her having a home here, then what does the future holds for this little generation.
My little one has been challenged severally at the day-care by the kids and caregiver when she was little, sometimes the caregiver never knew I saw what happened. I wanted to scream but my inner self needed to avoid conflict because I cannot always protect her if I complain every time. How will I protect her when I am not there all day to be the “Eagle Eyes” who watches over her young ones from the sky above. How can I protect them from the psychological and emotional distress of not wanting to go to the day-care which may affect then from childhood to adulthood?
I have been told by several clients at work or people around especially drunk ones to go back to my home country, I can accept that but not my children that were born here, being raised and have only known here as their home country. It is stresses me, I have the anxiety and fear for the future which I sometimes I wish I could do something about it but here I am helpless.